knickersoaker.

R.I.P. Steve. You were a genius, a babe and a righteous geek. Thanks for all of the best technology.

knickersoaker:

Return of the Mac

Whether you consider youself a Mac or a PC, after seeing this photo wouldn’t you do a Mac? Or more specifically Mr. Mac himself, Steve Jobs, circa 1981? He’s way ahead of his time in terms of style, here - pretty much 50% of boys these days are dressing like this: well-fit jeans, plaid shirt, rad geek watch, parted-on-the-side longish hair with a sweet moustache to top it all off. Now, personally I’m not much for facial hair other than a few days worth of unshaven beard, but you’ve gotta give the man props for being able to somehow look like a total fox even with a Burt Renyoldsesque stache. Not to mention lounging on a sweet computer that he made and on which he was just coloring a Sesame Street picture (shows that he’s in touch with his inner child, and is artistic to boot).

The best thing by far in this entire photo though is the knickersoaking look on his face. The way his right eyebrow is cocked just enough to make him look like he’s on the prowl and he’s got you in his crosshairs. With an expression like that he could not be the creator of one of the world’s top electronics companies and I’d still want to “reformat and mount his harddrive” and let him “defrag my system” all night long ifyouknowwhati’msayin’.

-theslyestfox

(via thedailywhat)

boohooboo:

If only all boys came with such clear warnings.

-theslyestfox

remember that episode of even stevens where louis got a churro machine in his room and put it right next to his bed and sat in bed eating churros all day and that made his anal sister inexplicably (but predictably) angry?  man.  i do.  and i always will.

i don’t know what it is with you and junk food, shia, but i dig it.  how is that beaker of cheese sauce treating you.  you look great, by the way.  i mean, not like in the i-wanna-make-out-with-you way; i feel like that would be weird since i still sort of think of you as that kid from the disney channel days, but like do you wanna just hang out and get baked and watch madagascar?  do you still have that churro machine?  i just painted a pretty magical afternoon in my mind.  if you’re down, stare soulfully up at me from your cheeseburger.

…

sweet.  your place or mine?

-bsqv

(via saragee)

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EDIT: If he’s wearing that suit, looking all windblown and unshaven  I’ll take care of the “making out” portion of the night for you, bsqv. Don’t worry about it, I got this one covered (with kisses).

-theslyestfox

Oh heeeey there, pretty much every boy I’ve ever had a crush on. I see you’re still wearing your signature layers: someone-else’s-holiday souveneir t-shirt, plaid button-up, hoodie and a leather jacket. Still haven’t gotten a haircut? That’s okay, I love long-in-the-front. Just as long as there’s not any mulletesque action when you lower the hoodie it’s all good. Still living in that ramshackle old house with 5 of your bros where there’s never any toilet paper, always a stack of dishes stuck to each other in the sink and the walls are paper thin? It’s cool, I’ll make you dinner and we can bone at my place. Still soaking my knickers with that intense stare of yours? Done aaaaaaand done.

-theslyestfox

(via hipsterorgay)

When I win the lottery/become stupidly rich somehow I think I’ll employ an entire flock of men to live with me and do my bidding, and I shall call them The Harem™. They’ll each be alloted a room/task and they’ll get paid to always be there doing whatever I tell them to.

Meet “Shower Stud”. Can you imagine walking into your bathroom and having this hunk just waiting for you to shower with him? Talk about a good way to actually get me out of bed in the morning. He’ll be paid to shampoo and condition my hair (complete with scalp massage all salon-styles), exfoliate my entire body with scrubby gloves, shave my legs, give me soapy back massages, and then lovingly towel me off afterwards. Oh and obvs shower sexing.

-theslyestfox

This one will be the “Den Master”. He’ll get paid to lay on that lambskin rug in front of a roaring fireplace in my living room, draping that lion about his naked body all day. I’ll come in, still nude and warm and fresh from my little shower-romp and laze about with him as we listen to the fire crack and enjoy the feeling of the soft fur against our skin. Then he’ll put the lion over his head like in the last few pictures up there and roar and maul me like an unsuspecting gazelle.

-theslyestfox

Then I’ll be keeping this “Kitchen Casanova” chained to my stove. He’ll create the most delicious meals wearing nothing but an apron and those glasses and a smile. He’ll cook me whatever I want, and it will all be made even more scrumptious by the fact that I will be eating it all off his lovely naked flesh, nantaimori style. Or maybe we’ll get all 9 1/2 weeks and he can feed me with my eyes closed. Either way it’ll always be hot in my kitchen.

-theslyestfox

I’m sure that those of you who’ve seen his last post remember this lovely creature. He shall be my “Bed Boy”. He’ll be handcuffed to my bed all day (what?) and will keep it warm so that my sheets aren’t freezing when I get in it at night. He’ll make sure the sheets are always fresh and clean and that the bed is made immaculately. He’ll also make sure to help me mess it up whenever my fancy strikes. Sometimes, if they’re lucky, the other members of The Harem ™ might be invited to frolic in the sheets with us, and every night the five of us will all spoon. It’s gonna be FANTASTIC.

-this knickersoaker tetraology has been brought to you by theslyestfox’s overactive and somewhat dirty imagination, the the letter K and the number 4.

Yo dawgs, I herd u liek knickersoakers, and have I got one for you. I know this boy is probably like 20 tops and that makes me a complete pedo-bear, but FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU this boy is like chocolate rain after a drought and before “that time of the month.” I mean, everything about him is relevant to my interests. The tousled hair, the dress shirt and the jawline are hot enough, but the glasses put his cuteness level over 9000. If this is real life I’m definitely not finished with him, professionally or otherwise. I want to trick him into coming to candy mountain with me, nom his face off and make all his base belong to me. Seriously, guys I just accidentally my knickers. What should I do…is this dangerous ?

Knickersoaking: ur doin it quite well, akshually.

-theslyestfox

Previously (not) on Knickersoaker:

Theslyestfox’s knickers were soaked by Daniel from LOST. Let us recap why, shall we?

• Freckles=adorable
• Really great crow’s-feet when he smiles
• Rocks the beard really well
• The eyes! The eyebrows. Look at ‘em, all jaunty.
• He’s kept his shirt and tie on since…well for as long as I can remember, and on a fucking crazy, time travelling tropical island that shows some serious dedication to looking like a well-dressed gentleman.
• Not only is he a sexy, sexy nerd, but he made a motherfucking TIME MACHINE. You can’t say no that. ‘Cause even if you do? He’ll just go back in time and try to seduce you over and over till you finally cave.
• He’s wearing a goddamn princess tiara in this picture, and I’d still bang him silly. Leave the crown on, sugar.

-theslyestfox

CHICKERSOAKER.

Androgyny gets me every time.

-theslyestfox

I love a man with a sense of humor.

-theslyestfox

So I feel like I’m running out of things to say about all of the boys that cross my dashboard that I decide to post on knickersoaker, because I’ve started realizing that it’s all the same. So I’ve compiled a short list for quick reference. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you “How to make theslyestfox’s knickers slicker with only a picture”:

• Short in the back, long in the front haircut: really does it for me.
• Hellooooo nice bone structure! Jawline: check. Cheekbones: check. Clavicle: Check. Hipbones: double check.
• Well-fitting clothes/smartly dressed=lust. Unless there are no clothes involved of course.
• Really nice shoes: “nice shoes, wanna fuck?” has always been my favorite pick-up line.

So, yeah. Sorry that my taste in men has become so predicatable, guys.

-theslyestfox